My college friends are going to Hershey park without me. Hershey park. If you don't know what that is it's one of the biggest amusement parks in the state of Pennsylvania You know what, I could stand for being dissed cause I'm not going to their college anymore, but I just wish people would just be up front and say they don't like me instead of leaving me with these false hopes that we're actually friends. And I'm not a pathetic person, it's not like a was tag-a-long for a whole year, but I always feel like I'm just there, not really important and not really a nuisance to anyone. Wow, I didn't know that nuisance was spelled with one s. Anyway, I gotten a whiff of this on Wed. when one of my friends said they were planning "something" for Saturday. I already got the drift, 'Okay, they don't want me to come.' And then when I ask my friend Charlotte if Saturday would be a good time to cut her hair for beauty school credits (she doesn't run with exactly the same crew I do, therefore I didn't think she would be going) she replies, "No, I'm going to Hershey with ppls Sat." Thus, I can without reasonable doubt conclude that everyone, including Charlotte, who wasn't even really part of the crew I ran with back at Millersville, is going to Hershey park to have abso-fucking-lutely beautiful time. And it's not even that, it's not that I care so much about going to an amusement park I've been to about 12 times before, it's that they didn't invite me. The person they said they cared so much about and sent messages all summer and "couldn't wait to see." It's that I was so swept off my feet with the idea of finally belonging with someone. It feels stupid now, but I always got this funny feeling inside every time I would come out of class or the bathroom and they would be waiting for me. Everyone probably thinks I'm being so over-dramatic, but the thing is I've never had that before, and you know, it hurts now that I don't anymore. I'm not around and it's like I'm out of sight, out of mind. Really? You know, I didn't want to let them go. I had little hopes of getting old with them, growing closer with time, and moving on with our lives, but never really letting go. And to know that they probably will do that. It's really not that horrid, it hurts, but it's definitely not the end of the world. I'm just so frustrated and I guess the fact that I am is just making me even more upset. Ugh.